Thank you Welcome on stage Sejal Bhatt Hey guys Kya kabhi tumne kabhi kisise pyaar kiya?! Kiya! Yes! Check Mera checklist ho gaya life ka This is all I wanted to do But my name is Sejal, hi I’m a Kashmiri Pandit, by the way We’re not on the bad, sad victim side We’re the ones that ran away It’s okay, It’s just Like a Kashmiri baby when it’s born The first words aren’t like, “Mumma, papa” It’s just, “bhaago!” But, it was a very conservative household mine That’s how we start Growing up in my household It’s a very conservative, Brahmin, Pandit household Like, the main things that I did during the 90’s growing up was watching the shitty movies ofcourse And Sankshipt Ramayan for some reason You know.
No? WowTum log bohot cool ho Fine main uncool hun Okay, fine, fine Other than that I didn’t watch a lot of like English movies growing up That’s the one thing I remember The first English movie I ever watched was Superman There’s a scene in Superman where he stretches out his shirt And I remember being really surprised And there’s that ‘S’ under the costume I was genuinely surprised to not see Ram and Sita in there It was like Yeh udta bhi Hanuman jaisa hai But kya So by the time I had sex Okay? Yeah By the time I had sex, I hadn’t watched porn Okay? Okay, picture me Not fully, but, somewhat I’m there in the situation I’m there in the situation Main kuch baat karu? Kuch bolu? Should I move? Should I make a sound? At all? And I was just frozen there like Okay, I’m just gonna do what my 90’s bollywood has taught me And I just went “Bachao!” It worked, guys! If there’s anything you’re taking from my set, it works Some men are into it It wasn’t the first time I’d seen a dick though To be frank, okay It wasn’t the first time I’d seen a dick voluntarily, keyword, actually Okay The one thing that shocked me really about dicks was the fact that they can movie on their own Did you know that? I had no idea upto that point ‘Cause I’m just there, you know, Handsy This is how my hands seem Like this Okay? And he’s just like, okay And I’m handsy and it just went like Okay.
Yeh normal hai? I had no idea The other thing that surprised me a lot Okay, I’ll actually tell you about the time that I saw a dick for the first actual time okay that was in a bus Nostalgia The usual Ki kya, ‘oh’ Muje nostalgia feel ho raha hai Tum log dukhi ho rahe ho I was in a bus, regular bus BMTC of sorts, it’s really packed And I was just standing like this cause I’m very sanskari So I face the women side always And I’m standing there And there’s a dude and I just feel a hand Go like this And I was like this is not a normal bus movement Cause, this and this I’m used to Yeh kya hai? So I turn here and I see the scariest looking Oh my god! It’s just an angry looking thing Like a purple shade of black Just on it’s own Now I’m over it okay Now I’m over the whole thing But I feel like there’s something we need to do about this Not, not, you know harassment wise Umm, power wise I feel like there is some, there should be a way to harness this energy somehow There should be a way to make electricity out of this thing Right? So much? This is my dream, okay We just have guys line up, okay One guy, one guy All of them just working at it xvideos.
com And we just have like wires going through there And we just have like wires going through there dicks And just working hard like Making this happen Somewhere far off in a gaon Near Gurgaon There’s an old lady in a hut Inside the hut there’s one single bulb like that Swadesh movie It’s never ever lit up And she’s just under it And there’s suddenly for the first time in 60 years, it just goes And she just goes, “Bijli!” Okay, that’s been my set guys Thank you so much.